Should we do a first look on our wedding day?
You will likely want to take posed (or loosely-posed) photos of your family, the bridal party, and yourselves on your wedding day. The decision to do a first look (or not) should be among one of your first considerations in the planning process as it will affect the flow of the day dramatically.
I have photographed hundreds of weddings over the past 20 years, and I am going to give you the pros and cons of both sides and then let you in on my honest opinion as your wedding photographer. My decision may not surprise you but my reasoning will!
WHAT IS A FIRST LOOK?
Let’s start off with what a first look is (for anyone who hasn’t been a part of a wedding party before, its ok to ask the simple questions!). A first look is when the two people getting married meet before the ceremony, in an often private moment where you get to see each other in your wedding attire for the first time. This is followed by a few private, uninterrupted moments and then portraits of the couple alone, adding in either family or the bridal party (or both) for formal portraits. Some, most, or all of your formal (posed) images will be done before you walk down the aisle. There are lots of logistical reasons for doing this (or not). Let's take a look at both.
Not doing a first look on your wedding day…
Some couples want that Hollywood moment where they see each other for the first time on the wedding day at opposite ends of the aisle. They lock eyes as they get closer together, finally meeting in the spot where they are to be married, ready to take their vows. Romantic, right? Without a doubt! If you choose to not have a first look this could be your ultimate romantic moment.
If you choose this path, keep in mind you will need to fit in photographs of you and your new spouse, the bridal party and your families before the reception starts. By reception here I mean introductions and dinner. Cocktail hour is fair game for the photographer to ask for your closet friends and relatives to take photos, unless you have an extended wedding day with a large break in the middle where there is enough time for everything.
Missing cocktail hour is just fine for some people. Here is how I arrange the photos so that the fewest people possible are missing from your cocktail hour, starting directly after your ceremony:
1st: Family photos, then invite immediate family (who are not also in bridal party) to join guests at cocktail hour
2nd: Bridal party photos, once these are done they get to attend cocktail hour
3rd: Couple photos.
If you choose to do this, a way to minimize the time and number of photos during cocktail hour and still not see each other before the ceremony is to get images of each side of the bridal party in their own getting ready spaces, and any combinations within that group, before the ceremony.
This is the best option for you if:
- Your religion or family tradition states to not see each other before the ceremony
- You have a long wedding day with extended time between the end of the ceremony and beginning of cocktail hour/reception (1-2+hours) where your bridal party needs something to do. In this case, doing a first look extends the day to often longer than is enjoyable for most of the bridal party and family.
- You have an early wedding ceremony (morning or early afternoon) and there isn’t enough time to get everyone ready.
A few notes on choosing this option:
* What doesn't work is trying to take images of immediate family before the ceremony when you aren't seeing your fiance. It may make sense to try to get the grooms family, for example, with parents and siblings before the ceremony but in reality this ends up taking more time. The mother or sister of the groom may be with the girls getting ready. And when you want this same image with the new spouse, instead of just putting one person in an already-set-up photograph we will be setting up that same group all over again. Trust me that doing it all at once is much more efficient. The only caveat to this is if there is something like a childhood home we are at for getting ready, where location has an emotional connection.
* Please please do not have the venue or caterer bring drinks or pass appetizers during family photo time. I realize it's cocktail hour for everyone else, however it makes the process so much longer and more frustrating. Your photo setups will be delayed by chewing (the time I've waited in my career for chewing haha!) and handing drinks back and forth as your people pop into different photo combinations. The quickest and least-stressful way is just to spend the 15-30 minutes taking photos and then enjoying drinks and appetizers with your guests! I promise! Being offered food and drink during photos is done by thoughtful planners and venues but truly, from a photography and scheduling perspective, it is better to skip the process of wondering if you’ve just messed up your lipstick or dribbled on your suit until after all the photos are done. And I won't have to photoshop out a dozen cocktail glasses and beer bottles!
Saying yes to a first look on your wedding day…
You’ll need to get yourself, and everyone else, ready a little earlier, but the day tends to run smoother with less stress all around. There will likely be more time for photos, so you won't feel rushed during that process. Everyone is at their picture-perfect best. No wrinkles or fallen curls here!
This option does extend the day a bit, so be prepared for that. But it makes it so that the bridal party, family, and often even the couple (unless there are some phots you skipped earlier) get to join guests as they enjoy a full cocktail hour. The party has really started and you get to be a part of the whole thing!
With a first look, I arrange the posed formals like this (opposite order from not seeing each other):
1st: The couple’s first look, and photos of just the two of them
2nd: Add in the bridal party
3rd: Add in immediate family
4th: Add in grandparents
The reason for that is so your family (especially older relatives like grandparents) do not have to wait around as long all dressed up. They also won't need to travel/walk as far, or at all, if you want the first look in a different location (even around the corner on the same property) than your family photos. We will plan in advance and give everyone you want to be in photos what time their photos are starting, usually 45 minutes to an hour after you have had your first look.
This is the best option for you if:
- Your ceremony time is at or after sunset, and you want portraits of your bridal party, family, and fiancé with natural daylight.
- You have no time between the ceremony and cocktail hour (for one-location weddings, or multiple locations but travel time fills the gap completely) and you want to attend cocktail hour.
- You have only cocktail hour for photographs with a large family and bridal party. Sometimes, there just isn’t enough time to do all of that. Keep in mind your coordinator will be tapping your shoulder about 10 minutes early to line everyone up for entrances, and you’ll need a moment to refresh and regroup, so it’s not really an hour.
A photographers perspective on if you should do a first look on your wedding day…
From a behind the scenes perspective, I personally like when a couple decides to have a first look on the wedding day. It’s not just for ease of scheduling (though that is certainly a reason), but for a more intimate one.
Walking up to each other in a private moment allows the sweetest interactions. I always photograph these with a long lens so I don’t know what is said, but to be able to say what you want to say, talk about how each other looks, and express your excitement for this moment is something extraordinarily special. I've seen laughter, tears, quiet looks, poems read and letters exchanged. This moment is just for the two of you.
I remember on my wedding day my husband and I just giggled like crazy and kept saying “want to get married today?” “OK!” “let’s get married TODAY!”HAHAHA. Couldn’t get any dorkier than that, but it’s how we felt in the moment. Such joy, and we got to share our feelings with each other without hesitation (or an audience).
Waiting until the ceremony to see each other cuts this interaction short, with a smile or squeeze of the hand as a hello while in front of all of your wedding guests, and perhaps at the beginning of a formal or religious ceremony.
No matter how you arrange your day, I will make sure that all of your priorities are covered!
To chat about your wedding day timeline, contact the studio and set up an appointment! This can be done before you book anything, or after you've already committed to your ceremony and reception venue. We will be looking at your priorities, the season, sunset time, tides, and family dynamics to create a schedule that works for you.